April Fool’s Day 2022: The Gareth Bale Bridge and the Wild Haggis Hunt | Newspapers

For for most people, April Fool’s Day is either a beacon of hope in dark times or a tedious parade of bad jokes we could all do without, with nothing in between. With a pandemic and a global focus on conflict in Ukraine and elsewhere, judging the tone of a decent April Fool’s Day has become much more difficult for businesses, and even more so for news outlets battling a growing wave of misinformation on social networks.

For the Telegraph, the big April Fool’s Day news was a plan by the Cricket Board of England and Wales to ditch the dreary and unsuccessful England men’s cricket team defeated in the West Indies and wholesale replace it with Heather Knight’s World Cup finalists.

The Mirror reported that mud from the ill-fated Marble Arch burial mound was to be used to rebuild Hadrian’s Wall as part of the government’s ‘upgrading’ programme. Wales Online, meanwhile, suggested the Second Severn Crossing should be renamed after Welsh footballer Gareth Bale.

You may have spotted our dedicated maritime correspondent Mari Tyme implausibly reporting that Tory MPs have been lobbying Downing Street to allow the Royal Family to use a recently seized Russian superyacht as their new flagship royal yacht.

ITV’s Good Morning Britain attempted to prank viewers by having weather presenter Laura Tobin broadcast live what was presented to her as a unique plant that had been specially bred and was to be named in her honour.

Elsewhere there was exciting news for those interested in cryptozoology, as the Scottish Deer Center in Fife announced it had caught a wild haggis, a mythical creature long thought extinct. The animal, which is certainly not some sort of wig-wearing guinea pig, had apparently left telltale footprints around the valleys near the Lomond Hills. The Deer Center has built a special habitat for the delicious little furball.

Fusion food might be a little old fashioned these days, but the British are ruining Italian food, it’s timeless. The pasta evangelists claimed to be adding a mash-up featuring the nation’s favorite Sunday meal to their delivery lineup to produce Sunday Roasted Spaghetti. Pink Marmalade, which truly makes a color-changing gin, is also making a strenuous step into Italian foods, claiming to have launched three new pizza-flavored gins, including a pepperoni gin that promises “unmistakable meaty taste and a burst of vibrations to take away in every pour”.

A delicious bowl of Sunday roast spaghetti. Photograph: The Pasta Evangelists

The rising cost of living in the UK has caused some people to call Friday not April Fool’s Day, but rather Dark Friday. The Koop+Kraft restaurant in Waterlooville, Hampshire, has a plan for just that. It’s promising that on Friday he’s giving away a free pint of petrol with every order, an offer perhaps more appetizing than a pizza-flavored gin. On a more practical note, restaurant chain Burger King does appear to be offering free Whoppers, blaming a “glitch” in its app, which issued a voucher to customers that must be redeemed by Saturday.

The curious mashed potato Easter egg from Mash Direct.
The curious mashed potato Easter egg from Mash Direct. Photography: Mash Direct

Still on the food front, Easter is traditionally a time when professional hand spinners walk around lamenting that Easter eggs no longer say Easter on them. They will no doubt be delighted that Mash Direct has most certainly called its new product an Easter egg. They may be less thrilled to find out it’s a chocolate egg stuffed with mashed potatoes.

Comments are closed.